05.30.010

on friday at work, we had the overhead door open because we were waiting to ship some product out. my father, brother, and i were sitting after lunch and we heard a very loud "chck chck chck" sound coming from the door. my brother looked and said "there's a crow right by the corner of the pallet." as soon as he said that, the bird flew away. i, of course, ran outside to investigate. behind the building, there were three black birds. i went back inside and said "those aren't crows, they're common grackles. you can tell because they're a little smaller than crows and look as though they were dipped in an oil slick." my brother said "why do you know that? there is something wrong with you," which would've been a really mean thing to say, were it not so true.

not drinking coffee has been going okay. i remembered the other day that drinking too much tea is also bad for you, so i think i'm probably just going to stick to water and juice and lemonade and beer with occasional bouts of caffeinated beverages as necessary.

i'm drinking widmer's hefeweizen tonight, and it's very good. i was hoping to find harpoon's raspberry ufo, but they didn't have it at the belfast hannaford. i only recall ever seeing it at a hannaford in bangor and at the belfast hannaford. perhaps i will go to bangor to see if they have it. at any rate, i am drinking hefeweizen out of a plastic penguin cup because i do not have any proper beer drinking glasses because i have never had the desire to actually own proper beer drinking glasses before tonight.

i went on a drive to rockland today. purchased some more books because that's what i do. the best christmas pageant ever by barbara robinson, which i recall reading in grade school and really really loving, killing yourself to live by chuck klosterman, which will be my first book by him, and cordelia underwood or the marvelous beginnings of the moosepath league by van reid, which is set in portland, maine, 1896.

i went shopping with hillary yesterday and purchased a wonder pets coloring book that comes with over 700 stickers of various animals (including the wonder pets). every episode i have seen of the wonder pets has made me cry. which i probably shouldn't confess to because i don't think many men would find a lady who, firstly, watches wonder pets, and secondly, cries at every episode, to be very endearing, and that's what i strive to be sometimes. i bought some other things, but they were mostly boring.

IN VERY EXCITING NEWS, i have $243 more than i thought i did. anytime my sister kicks in a little money for utilities or if she sells something of mine on her etsy store, she paypals the money to me. i don't keep a register on my checkbook, i just call my bank to check the balance and if it sounds about right, i don't think twice about it. and i thought that, since paypal has all my checking account information, the money she was sending to me was automatically going into my checking account.

yesterday, i logged on to pay my paypal credit bill, and it said that my paypal balance was $243. i thought that it was just keeping track of all money that my sister had transferred to me. but then i clicked on the view limitations thing and it says that you can only transfer $500 from your paypal account to your bank account, AND THEN I REALIZED.

MARIA, YOU DINGUS, THIS MONEY HAS BEEN SITTING IN YOUR PAYPAL ACCOUNT AND IT HAS NEVER ACTUALLY MADE IT INTO YOUR REAL BANK ACCOUNT!!!

it has made me so happy, i don't even care that i should be extremely embarrassed by my ineptitude at using the internet. i'm going to be setting aside at least $100 for very hopeful athens popfest travels. i have to have a major sitdown with my dad re: popfest because i am trying to make plans, and my friend casey, with whom i would be carpooling down with, is thinking about getting a hotel room for the duration of popfest (two of her friends are going as well) and she wants to book a hotel room sooner rather than later, and i'd hate to commit and not be able to go, or vice versa, go and not have a definite place to stay. some people have offered up places within their houses, but since i am kind of weird and won't really know if i can go until right before, i'd hate to say "YES I NEED A PLACE" and then say "JUST KIDDING" or "NO I DON'T NEED A PLACE" and then have it be a week before and have to scramble to find somewhere. so i want to discuss the likelihood that he will let me go regardless of what is going on at work. i figure it is likely, but that it will be unpaid, barring really amazing things happening. we'll see.

one of the blue flower lights is flickering again. i am thinking of you, too.

unrelatedly; i realized that i have not watched garden state in four years, which is a very long time, given that garden state was once my favorite movie. i should probably try. i should probably be able to watch it without wanting to throw up or scream or light myself on fire, but, i don't know. i should at least try. it was an alright movie and zach braff is really attractive in that way the media thinks we should find men attractive. sensitive but still manly or whatever. i don't know what i'm trying to say.

sometimes i go to cnn's website just to watch the underwater view of the bp leak. i don't know why i do it, because it makes me feel so completely nauseous, but i do it.

we have tomorrow off. it's still strange to me to not have to work on holidays. i will do laundry and maybe go read somewhere for hours. i am almost done with no one belongs here more than you, and i don't know what to read next. i'll be bringing a few options with me. perhaps i will start reading two books at once again. it's been about a month since i've done that.

i have a bite and a bruise on my knee, in the exact same location. supposedly spider bites yield such marks. i wish i liked spiders. i also have hives or something on my lower back again. every friday they flare up. i do not know why.

i don't know what else there is to say. i'm sure there is more. i have yet to see a kingfisher. hm.

face;



i have minor sunburns on my face and a little on my chest and my driver's arm. i'm still working on getting my hair to lighten naturally. it seems to be working, although you can't really tell from this picture.



this is a groundhog that lives in a field where man man is recording their new album. he may be joining the band. i think a groundhog would be the only thing man man could add to the band to make themselves any more wonderful than they already are.

05.26.010

i picked today to stop drinking coffee.

i had been thinking about it on and off for a while and i ran out of coffee yesterday and i decided not to get any more. i don't know why i've actually stopped. i usually only have one cup a day, sometimes two if things are really crazy (or in the winter when it is very cold). i bought chocolate yerba mate last week and i figured perhaps i could just sub in tea for what i usually use coffee for (waking/feeling human).

i think maybe part of the problem is that i did only have one cup of tea today. and it was right after i woke up, and to be very honest, it didn't do much for me at all. all day i fought a dull headache which went to a full fledged sharp, temporal based headache around three this afternoon. i am hopeful tomorrow will be better: i bought a bottle of cold yerba mate tea to have when i start to drag.

this week has been not as calm as i was hoping. lots of trips to bangor for pipe and tubing and fittings (with another trip planned for tomorrow morning for anti-scald valves), and lots of demanding physical labor involving things that look like torture devices and 50' rolls of tubing. my body is pretty wrecked and i am exhausted (in every way possible).

i always lock my car doors. no matter where i am or how long i am going to be wherever i am for, i lock my doors. today at work, i went outside to close the sunroof as it looked like cloudbursting weather could happen at any given moment. this afternoon when i went to leave, the little button on the side of my car key that unlocks the doors wouldn't work. i thought it might've been the battery in the key. so i go around to the passenger side to unlock the door manually (for some reason, the key does not work in the driver side lock). so i unlock the passenger side door and i press the unlock switch on the door, and nothing happens. i find this to be odd, stretch over the center console and unlock the driver side door manually. i go around to the other side of the car, get in, and turn the key. nothing. not even a pathetic engine sound.

my battery had died.

fortunately my dad was still there and he cleaned off the battery (one of the contacts had gotten all sorts of corrosion on it, which is weird because when i went to get my oil changed earlier this month/last month/whenever, they had the hood open and didn't say anything about it) and jumped it and it seems to be fine. but that was exciting nonetheless.

after work, i went with hillary while she ran some errands. we didn't get home until around eight. i've been seeing lots of butterflies and saying hello to erin each time i do. the mother dove is still on the nest and doing well, i think. i say hello every time i leave the house or come home. bella is trying to escape something fierce. she actually made it into the street last night when i went out to move my car. fortunately, we live on a dead end street and it's really rare for there to be people driving down it at night. i don't know why she keeps trying so much. pepper has been super affectionate as of late. i think she might just be hungry. i am very tired and i can't think of anything else worth writing about (i did have a dream about being on the millennium falcon and darth vader being there and having to make a birthday cake for someone). okay.

face;



sleepish.



nataly and jack are so cute and talented. i want to keep them in a pocket.

05.23.010

i feel as though there are a thousand things to write about tonight.

athens popfest;
four-day passes went on sale on friday. i bought one, in spite of the fact that i will not know if i am actually going to be able to go until about a week before. i still have some change left over in the box, which will now be put towards traveling expenses and loaves of bread and jars of peanut butter. if, worse comes to worse, and i cannot go, at least i will already have traveling money set aside for another trip (probably new york city to visit morgan for a weekend, or maybe i will randomly disappear to athens at some other time). at any rate, just thinking about the possibility of being able to go makes me burst into ridiculous smiles. that is a good thing to have, i think, even if it doesn't end up happening. please note my "no expectations" attitude towards this. i have to have it. otherwise i will end up getting pneumonia.

doves;
friday afternoon, when i got home from work, there was a dove on one of the joists of the stoop's roof. he/she flew away as i approached the house. yesterday morning, there was a dove on the nest, but he/she flew away when i looked up at them. today, when i went to leave for the day, the dove was back on the nest. she didn't fly away. my dovelies are back!!!

friends and babies;
today my friends (mark and jenn) who had their first baby at the end of april had a get together for people to meet him. the baby is super cute and little. i will admit the following now; babies creep me out. i am terrified of holding them and usually refuse to (the only exception being my cousin when she was a newborn three or four years ago, and even then, i panicked the entire time). but it was nice to see the new parents so happy. it was nice to see them in general; i hadn't in about a year. evans and mo were there too, as well as jess which was surprising given that she works in new york. so it was a nice afternoon. my stomach started to bother me a lot (as it turned out, my lady problems came early or late or on time. i never make note of these things andso it's always an unpleasant surprise), so i left when evans and mo left. which was okay because outside of the parents, i didn't really know anyone and i am kind of awkward around people i don't really know anything about. they're all nice enough people, but i'm painfully shy around "strangers." at any rate, it was really nice to see mark and jenn and evans and mo and jess. they're all really wonderful people.

obsessions;
someone was selling an old accordion by the side of the road. i didn't get a very good look at it (as i had pulled over in my car), but it apparently works. they're asking $85. unfortunately, i didn't have my checkbook with me, nor did i have enough cash. i might go get it tomorrow because i am insane. i don't think i will get it if it is a 12-bass accordion. i would like more bass keys. and i probably should start re-learning things again. i fall out of practice with everything all the time. i need to be more disciplined and strict with the things i love, but i fear it will make me hate them. that is troubling.

non-bird related wildlife;
on the drive home, i bypassed the construction that they are doing on route 1a (which is the main artery of most of the driving i do). while doing so, i saw a very young deer cross the road. i stopped and watched, since deers very rarely travel alone. but this young friend seemed to be utterly alone. they looked back at me as they walked into the clearing. it was kind of sad. cars and trucks passed at full speed while i was pulled over. i hate other drivers. i also stopped to point a turtle in the general direction of the water. he wasn't very big, about the size of a cd, and i was kind of scared he was going to bite me, but i did get him out of the road and headed towards the stream instead of traffic.

phonecalls;
i received a comment on facebook yesterday from my friend mike (mick? i don't know what he goes by, i call him hollywood because that's what i know him as), saying that since we haven't spoken in forever (more accurately, a year), i should call him. so i did. our call was brief but nice. his phone died so our conversation was left as "to be continued." he was one of my best friends for a while a few years ago, and it's nice to be in touch with him again. i haven't seen him in almost three years, but he thinks he will be up again at some point this summer. i also spoke to tyler last night, which is always fun. he is one of my best friends. one of the few people who has really made an effort to stay in touch with me post-circus seven. we're very similarly minded, which is simultaneously a great thing and a not so great thing. it's nice to talk to him and to be blatantly honest about thing. i miss him a lot; i haven't seen him in almost five years. i would like to see him again. maybe if the popfest thing doesn't work out, i could go to d.c. as well.

chicken barn;
yesterday, i went to the chicken barn. i bought a book called mind of the raven that is all about the way ravens behave, which i am really looking forward to reading. i read something earlier this week about how ravens console one another after there has been a fight. i think that is incredibly endearing, plus it also ties into me wanting to know more about birds. i also bought a book about plants and animals that are native to europe, which is in german. i bought it specifically for the illustrations. they are really pretty. also nice; the german word for otter is otter. and i also bought a really old black and white photo of a church because it looks as though it is from europe. so everything i bought is kind of related to everything i posted about earlier this week. they also had a nice set of english vocabulary cards that would be great for mixed media projects or garlands or something, but i decided against getting it. as well as a very old peter rabbit story. and a book of children's songs.

other;
i've been having trouble sleeping. i broke out in hives again on friday. i feel as though this was something that would regularly happen to me for a while last year, but i can't find any documentation to back it up. the grey's anatomy season finale was really good, but there weren't really any loose ends, which is simultaneously great and not so great. i mean, i guess the hospital post-crazy shooter is a loose end, and the status of those who were shot and not killed. but i mean. last year, we had george and izzie possibly dying. i don't know. television is weird and terrible. i'm hoping for a nice week at work. the weather has been gorgeous and it is supposed to be nice all week. high on tuesday of 88˚!!! with thunderstorms! big hopes for late afternoon thunderstorms, since they are the best. it is terrible that our economy is so dependent on things becoming obsolete. i should expand on this further, but i am kind of tired. maybe later this week. i'm sure there is more i mean to say, but i can't remember it. there was nice sea smoke and fog today, and driving through those patches brought in this nice, cool, salty air. i love maine a lot.

placing faces;



the very blaring white thing behind me is a music tapes single insert that fell from my ceiling. i do not know why it is so bright.



oh, zoo people. you ask animals to do such silly things sometimes.

05.19.010

i want to go back to school but i don't want to learn about things i don't want to know. is that asking too much? the things i want to know about include birds and some music theory and some things about animals. this might be learning best left to spare time and ambition instead of enlisting the assistance of some institution. it would be nice to take a typewriter repair course (if such a thing exists [it should]). and maybe more about solar thermal and plumbing and heating (i could just tap my dad for his knowledge). and space. i'd like to know more about space and russia and hungary and my family and puppies.

BUT THEN.

i also want to spend a lot of time just writing. and reading. and doing sudoku puzzles and listening to music and trying to learn instruments and driving in the rain and watching silly things on netflix and youtube.

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME. if i indulge in rainy driving, i come home and there is less time for reading and writing. if i do sudoku puzzles during lunch, i can't write or read. i could stop sleeping, but i really love sleeping a lot, so if anything, i'd like to increase the amount of sleep i'm actually getting.

i don't know. these are silly complaints.

i made a chinese noodles and tofu dish my favorite teacher from high school posted on her blog on monday. it came out pretty good, considering i almost burnt down my house twice while trying to make it. I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. i didn't realize that my pot was only 3 quarts and the noodles boiled over onto the stove. and then i also didn't realize that i should've drained the excess soy sauce from the tofu before putting it on the cookie sheet to make it and the sauce bubbled up and then burnt onto the cookie sheet. the nice thing about burnt soy sauce is that once you start to run the sheet under water, it becomes liquid again. i should've let the tofu marinate in the soy sauce for longer. i don't mind the texture of tofu so much as the very bland taste that cuts through if it is not seasoned sufficiently. i let the tofu sit for about three minutes before putting it in the oven. maybe next time i will try ten. the noodles and veggerables were great, though. i did add extra stir fry veggers to the mix (onions, peppers, water chestnuts, sugar snap peas and carrots), as well as hot red pepper flakes and chili powder for some added zing.

i also purchased seitan for the first time ever and will be making faux-beef stew now that it's warm out because that sounds about right for accurate maria logic. maybe i will make something else. i will look for recipes later.

my dad found this website. it is going to be a busy weekend of wonderful old films. i'm particularly looking forward to watching the videos about peg leg sam and the one about the klezmer revival and woodsmen and river drivers and solo southern dancing and. pretty much everything. i'm glad he finds such nice things online.

plopfest tickets go on sale on friday and i'm so excited! august seems so far away, but it isn't really. there is still a lot to plan (most pressingly: i need to find a place to stay for a week or so. i am offering cookies and hugs and dog treats [if there are dogs {i hope there are dogs!}] and maybe some cleaning as definite payment, with the hopes that i will be able to provide a little fiduciary compensation as well), but it's nice to have things to look forward to, and planning is fun. AND i have never gone on an actual vacation away away away before. only massachusetts or vermont for a few days here or there, plus one high school music trip to virginia beach. and that random midnight new york trip, but that was only about a day and a half and doesn't really count since i didn't actually sleep in a place in new york that was not a car.

the washingmachine repairman fellow came yesterday. he couldn't really find anything wrong with the machine except for that two hose clamps were loose. so, we'll see. i am planning on laundering tomorrow while watching the grey's anatomy season finale. the first 9-ish minutes are available online already and oh man. it's going to be a doozy.

i'm sure i am forgetting things but i suppose they are meant to be forgotten. okay.

flace;



my teeth are bothering me again. oh dear.



everybody knows that dads singing to their babies = adorable. but when that dad is john green and he is breaking the oath he had made to never sing in a vlog ever again, it's even more adorable. and when you hear his rendition of the hush, little baby (mockingbird) lullaby... i mean. you might explode. and henry is so super adorable in the first place and. i'm warning you. you might go puddley and want to hug puppies for the rest of the night and if you don't have puppies around you're going to feel very sad because there is nothing to hug except for pillows.

05.16.010

i have a problem.

it's hard for me to admit that i have a problem, but i do, but i think it's okay (i think this is denial) because i can feed my addiction really inexpensively.

i have an addiction to buying books.

for the past two weekends, i have gone to two library book sales (last weekend in bangor, i purchased fourteen for $3, and in camden yesterday, i purchased four for $4). in addition, i spent about an hour in the rockland goodwill yesterday, ended up purchasing eight books for $13. that comes to twentysix books for $20.

this is the list:

the graveyard book by neil gaiman.
maine: a literary chronicle edited by w. storrs lee.
the book of useless information.
girl, interrupted by susanna kaysen.
a confederacy of dunces by john kennedy toole.
no one belongs here more than you by miranda july.
collected poems of robert frost.
the wind-up bird chronicle by haruki murakami.
walden and civil disobedience by henry david thoreau.
oxford book of american verse.
poems and sketches of e.b white.
reflections on a gift of watermelon pickle... and other modern verse edited by stphen dunning/edward lueders/hugh smith.
poems by alice meynell.
a wild patience has taken me this far by adrienne rich.
mrs. dalloway by virginia woolf.
a selection of english prose and poetry 1660-1800 edited by ffrank brady and martin price.
outside eden by isabel scott rorick.
a pocket book of modern american short stories.
milton's areopagitica edited by john w. hales (which i am certain i am not going to understand any bit of it).
the poetical works by george sandys volume two (also probably will go over my head since my grasp on all things religious is open palmed at best. i'm also not above admitting that i bought it because i thought it was beautiful and smelled really good).
the solitary summer by elizabeth von arnim.
prose and poetry adventures.
the caged birds by leroy leatherman.
bedside book of famous french stories edited by belle becker and robert n. linscott.
white oleander by janet fitch.
songs and games for little ones.

so i think my new thing is going to be going to library book sales every weekend. or at least the weekends i can find them.

otterly, things are starting to pick up at work, so that is good. i can pay bills and buy things and not feel terrible about it. i think i might be getting sick, though, which is not really surprising, given that we are getting busy and it would be inconvenient for me to have to miss work right now. my throat feels as though i've been yelling for three days straight and my neck is sore, which is concerning except for that it's been bothering me more and more frequently since whenever i pulled it or did whatever to it in april or march or whenever it was that i was splitting wood and did something terrible to it. so i don't know what to make of that, but to be safe, i purchased a whole slew of sudoku puzzles (and a word search-picture find hybrid book thing) at the dollar store today. the washing machine man will come on tuesday and hopefully fix the washing machine for not a lot of money. i had to kill a very large spider in the bathroom tonight. i don't like to kill spiders, but i don't like living spiders a lot more than i don't like killing them. does that make sense? i don't know. i'm reading o. henry's waifs and strays which i am enjoying a lot. i watched the movies broadcast news and desk set this weekend and i've been watching season five of grey's anatomy on netflix instant watch. the season finale of season six is this thursday, and i only miss working on the assignment desk on friday mornings when i don't have anyone to talk to about how ridiculous grey's was the previous evening. botters. i had a moment thursday evening where i posted on farcebook "i miss my doves" and i looked out my window, and they were sitting on the wire outside my bedroom looking in at me. i went to take a photo but they flew away. the full line up for athens popfest is going to be announced on friday, and full 4-day passes go on sale as well. only $40 for the first week! i am going to get one in hopes that everything works out and i am actually able to go. hillary went on some excursion from wednesday evening until yesterday morning, so i had the house to myself which i love for a lot of reasons. one of which is that i enjoy showering with the door slightly ajar so the kitchen starts to steam up a little. the weather is supposed to be really nice again this week. it was kind of chilly last week (at least when compared to the week prior to last), so it seems as though summer is officially starting.

i don't know what else there is to say, and at any rate, my throat feels terrible and i should probably go to bed.

face;





look at how young the johns are! and how un-nerdy flans looks!!! gracious.

05.12.010

i am lacking enthusiasm tonight. i am having an evening similar to the evenings i know i had circa february 2003, where i feel like everything is sort of caving in on itself, but i can't do anything about it. collapsing synapses and a lack of words and moreover, the lack of even wanting to talk about it. i don't know what i need. time spent driving and listening to music. i don't know that that will work the way it once did, plus i can't really afford gas right now and i got rid of most of my cds when i bought my house, so i am missing the ones i would really want to listen to in the car in the middle of the night the most.

see also; the hives will not go away. still have not been paid. and the pain in my neck is worsening. i don't know what to do about anything except cry and that seems pretty useless, so i will watch the doors documentary instead. edit: the doors documentary isn't even on up here. annoying. just like the townhall, which has turned into some catty, teenage high school nightmare. i am frustrated.

califone - funeral singers from Califone on Vimeo.

05.09.010

well goodness gracious. it's been a little over a week, but i feel as though i have not blogged in a year. which is funny because nothing really big has gone on. the biggest news would be that my friends had their first baby on friday. i have yet to meet him, but i've seen photos and he's so adorable. i finally made those oatmeal raisin cookies i'd been craving for about two months now (or since whenever it was that i had that dream that i made oatmeal raisin cookies for julian koster in a frying pan) last night and THEY ARE THE MOST DELICIOUS COOKIES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. they are a little crisp on the outside, but nice and soft on the inside and oh my god oh my god oh my god. so good. i was going to work on the drywalling of the living room this weekend but i didn't (this is the second weekend that i planned on doing that but didn't. i am terribly unmotivated, which is funny because you would think i would want my house to not look like a tornado tore through the living room sooner rather than later). i went to a book sale at the bangor public library where i purchased fourteen books for $3. i also bought a coffee table that will be home to my newest typewriter (did i write about my newest typewriter? i can't remember. it's a smith corona coronet cartridge 12 electric typewriter [like this one, except my case doesn't have that nice moulded white piece everything nests into]. they claim it's portable, but it's wicked heavy, although it does come with a carrying case. i bought it for $4 at a goodwill. it was probably the best $4 i've spent in recent memory; it works and it has the most wonderful humbuzz to it i've ever heard). i need some floor pillows or some sort of low chair or something to complete out the niche i am building for some weird reason. i don't know why i'm nesting, but i am. i spent most of today in seriousport with the parentals. we went to rockland and mostly drove around as it was so fiercely windy today. i received a nice package from my friend amy this past week. my washing machine is broken; i found this out at a little before nine pm on thursday, which resulted in me trying to do three things at once; a) figure out where the leak was coming from. b) watch some friends live post jeff mangum's set at the chris knox benefit concert. c) watch grey's anatomy. i didn't accomplish any of them very sucessfully. we didn't get paid on friday, but will hopefully be paid tomorrow or tuesday. i woke up at quarter to four on friday morning, breaking out in hives. i don't know why. i am feeling kind of old, but not really. it is actually looking like i will be able to attend athens popfest this year, which is the most bizarre, wonderful news i've had all year. HOWEVER, I AM NOT GETTING MY HOPES UP. i know my life, and it's pretty likely that something ridiculous will happen to prevent me from going. but it's nice to think about actually being able to go to popfest. much like great donkey thieveries. i finally wrote back to silk friendy fellow. i wrote a novel. i blamed it on the italian in me (because it's true. i should've also told him to imagine me gesticulating wildly throughout the entire email, but i didn't think of that until today). what else is there. i'm certain i am forgetting things. oh. my dad thought that xzibit's name was ex-biscuit, and that was one of my favorite things that happened this week. also, while in rockland today, we went to jc penney so my dad could look for socks, and they had these ridiculously large jewelry armoires, and upon leaving, my mom said "is that for jewelry?!" to which my dad and i replied "yes" and she said "what the crap?!?!" and it was hysterical. i am very fortunate to have such wonderful parents. there is another book sale at a different library this weekend that i will probably go to because you can never have too many books. dr. dog is playing in portland tomorrow and i would like to go, but probably will not due to money and not really wanting to travel. also, tomorrow will officially make it six months since i've seen any live music, so that's partially to blame as to why i am feeling kind of crazy. i still am not done with letters to a young poet and i don't want to finish it. i just finished letter eight yesterday, and i wish i had it month and a half ago. and four years ago. and six years ago. and eight years ago. long story short; i should've read this book in high school before everything happened (it actually makes me upset that this was not a part of any english curriculum i studied in school). i should pin letter eight to the inside of my coat over my heart. i think that's about it. it's been weird not writing every day. or practically at all. i feel out of practice. i feel like this is the most schizyfrantic post i've posted in a while. ALRIGHT!!!

face;



i am having this weird issue where i can't look directly into camera lenses without looking very deer-in-headlightsish. i don't know why it's happening, but it is and i look spooked. so i haven't been. i took this whatever day it was i wore that shirt. friday, i think.




two videos that are awesome and completely unrelated except for the fact that they are both awesome;

a corgi dancing because it's so excited about being fed.





stevie wonder performing superstition on sesame street.